Ms. Universe

i'm watching ms. universe...i'm interested in what drives such woman to go through all of that for a crown. what on earth would make them really want it in the first place? who asks themselves "well i'm hot...why not join a competition against equally attractive women who all are fighting for a crown?" makes no sense to me. now i understand a sports competition but i cannot understand what is to be gained by walking across a stage in skimpy outfits for the world to see and giving answers to questions that are rehearsed. now i understand there are great perks like custom clothing, shoes, professional makeup and hair, jewelry, photoshoots, and traveling....who wouldn't want that i suppose...and no i'm not jealous. i just am curious as to the motive of why. maybe i just gave the answer with the perks...but things of the world aren't all that important.

hahahahahahahah

quote of the night: "redrum....its like murder!" hahahahaha

Delusions

Megan is in denial. She keeps saying its not going to be a date and even though he wont think its a date....she will eventually think its a date. She can lie to herself but I really know her. I know her mind process........muahahahahahahaha!

:D

SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!

Drowning

Good morning day
Sorry I’m not there
But all my favorite friends
Vanished in the air
It’s hard to fly when you can’t even run
Once I had the world, but now I’ve got no one

If I needed someone to control me
If I needed someone to hold me down
I would change my direction
And save myself before I
If I needed someone to control me
If I needed someone to push me around
I would change my direction
And save myself before I drown….drown

Good morning day
Sorry you’re not here
All those times before
We’re never this unclear
It’s hard to walk when you can’t even crawl
Once I had this world, but now I’ve lost it all

If I needed someone to control me
If I needed someone to hold me down
I would change my direction
And save myself before I
If I needed someone to control me
If I needed someone to push me around
I would change my direction
And save myself before I drown

Rolling faster than I’m breathing
Drown
Rolling faster than I’m breathing
Drown
Rolling faster than I’m breathing

If I needed someone to control me
If I needed someone to hold me down
I would change my direction
And save myself before I
If I needed someone to control me
If I needed someone to push me around
I would change my direction
And save myself before I
(Save myself before I drown, save myself before I drown, save myself before I drown)

Never Enough

I'm so fed up with everyone around me...(No one seems to care)I'm just so far gone and nothing's gonna change..(I'll never be the same.It's always do this, do that,
Everything they want to...I don't want to live that way...Every chance they get they're always..Pushin me away.It's never enough.No it's never enough.No matter what I say...It's never enough.No it's never enough..I'll never be what you want me to be...It's all so messed up and no one ever listens...(Everyone's deranged)...I'm just so messed up and I'm never gonna change...(Wanna lay it all to waste)...They're always say this, say that,Nothing that you want to..I don't want to live that way
Every chance they get they're always..Shovin me aside!I'm DONE!In the end we're all just chalklines on the concrete...Drawn only to be washed away..For the time that I've been given..I am what I am.I'd rather hate you..For everything you are.Than ever love you...For something you are not.I'd rather you hate me...For everything I am.Than have you love me.For something that I can't...It's never enough...It's never enough...No matter what I say...No matter who i try to be...No it's never enough
No matter how I try to change.Never never enough..I'll never be what you want me to be.
-Five Finger Death Punch

And I am fine...

Some days are worse then others...yesterday and today....yeah......the loneliness rages on. We all suffer from doubts...on the outside I look fine maybe even appear happy, its a lie. I'm not happy. I'm lying to you when I say I'm okay or that nothing is wrong. I'm overwhelmed with this torrent of emotion...I don't like it. I don't want to feel...A lot of the time I used to view things with a vague disinterest...but now, I can't. Now the nightmare is real...but I wont feel...a thing. I can't allow myself to be drawn into the game. I don't like the rules...so I'm going to change them. I simply wont play. The problem with caring for people is that you get hurt too. And for what? What do I get out of it besides pain? Nothing...I get absolutely nothing. Except more pain and loneliness and even jealousy...which leads to anger. Which I usually am...I am always angry. I don't look it. But trust me...I am. I shouldn't wish I was someone else. I shouldn't want to be anyone but myself. But what if I'm not good enough? Because no matter how hard I try it never seems to be enough, for anyone, let alone myself. I don't know why I vent my thoughts on here. It's pointless. I can't adequately describe my thoughts or feelings why bother really to try and write them down. It makes no difference.

Honesty

Our society lacks it. Why do people lie to your face? If you don't like me or don't like something I'm doing bring it to my attention. Don't try and pretend it doesn't bother you. It does. SO TELL ME STUPID. I don't want you to pretend to care about me or tolerate me. I don't care if you like me but at least let it be known that you don't. Good. I will avoid you and make it better for you. SO DON"T BE EFFING STUPID.

Dr. Horrible

BRAND NEW DAY

This appeared as a moral dilemma ‘cause at first

It was weird though I swore to eliminate the worst

Of the plague that devoured humanity it’s true

I was vague on the “how” - so how can it be that you

Have shown me the light?



It's a brand new day

And the sun is high

All the birds are singing

That you're gonna die

How I hesitated

Now I wonder why

It’s a brand new day



All the time that you beat me unconscious I forgive

All the crimes incomplete - listen, honestly I'll live

Mr. Cool, Mr. Right, Mr. Know-It-All is through

Now the future's so bright and I owe it all to you

Who showed me the light



It's a brand new me

I got no remorse

Now the water's rising

But I know the course

I'm gonna shock the world

Gonna show Bad Horse

It's a brand new day



And Penny will see the evil me

Not a joke, not a dork, not a failure

And she may cry but her tears will dry

When I hand her the keys to a shiny new Australia



It's a brand new day

Yeah the sun is high

All the angels sing

Because you're gonna die

Go ahead and laugh

Yeah I'm a funny guy

Tell everyone goodbye…

It’s a brand new day



EVERYTHING YOU EVER

Here lies everything

The world I wanted at my feet

My victory’s complete

So hail to the king

(Everything you ever…)

Arise and sing



So your world’s benign

So you think justice has a voice

And we all have a choice

Well now your world is mine

(Everything you ever…)

And I am fine



Now the nightmare’s real

Now Dr. Horrible is here

To make you quake with fear

To make the whole world kneel

(Everything you ever…)

And I won’t feel

A thing