If I fell in love with you
Would you promise to be true
And help me understand
cause Ive been in love before
And I found that love was more
Than just holding hands
If I give my heart to you
I must be sure
From the very start
That you would love me more than her
If I trust in you oh please
Dont run and hide
If I love you too oh please
Dont hurt my pride like her
cause I couldnt stand the pain
And I would be sad if our new love was in vain
So I hope you see that i
Would love to love you
And that she will cry
When she learns we are two
If I fell in love with you
This is how irrational my feelings are. I hear this song and I think...oh I've been there. I was in love once before...well forget it. Because all in all its just going to blow up in your face over and over again. Forget love, forget caring about anyone else who doesn't deserve you...cause it sucks to settle...why should I? Oh yeah...because no one else is interested! Thats what we girls end up doing....we realize that no one is interested in us and then we leap for the chance when the first guy who is even remotely interested and then we make a fool of ourselves...either that...we end up clinging and basically stalking the guys we were once with because they are the only ones who liked us to begin with! I'm tired of being made the fool in all these situations. Is it worth the heart ache? NO...not really. Sure we learn from it or we benifit from the experience....Bull.....I have never benefitted from being dumped by a person I loved. In the end it just messed me up emotionally. Made me paranoid and insecure. Why am I the only one that gets hurt and messed up for it. If you look at the guy they just don't care...at all. Maybe that's what I'm really frustrated about...is that the men dump me and then a month later have someone new. Or they just stop talking to you all together though they made promises of always staying friends and whatnot. Bull crap. No guy really wants to be friends with an ex. Yet here I am...friends with all of mine. People think its weird. But things like this apparently I just don't understand why its unusual. I like being able to hang out with someone who know's me...i mean really know's who I am....and of course the guys who know me best are the one's I dated. But at the same time they just don't care. I'm rambling now. whatever no one is going to read this. So why do I bother writing.....
B, I can totally relate to what you are saying. I have been there many times before and I am sure most firls have. There was a time when I was dating a guy in college and I felt like I really loved him. I thought he would be the one that I would marry, we would talk about it and I could never picture myself being with anyone else. Everything seemed perfect and then one day he just dumped me out of the blue, I didn't see it coming at all, he didn't even have a good excuse, all he said was that "things weren't right". I was beyond heart broken, especially when I found out a month later that he was engaged to someone else! I went through the same thing you experienced, I blamed myself, thinking I was not good enough, thinking I would never someone, I even had to go for counseling. After about a year, Bryce came into my life and now I am so grateful that the Lord made me have the experience that I did with that other guy and made me go through the heartache because Bryce a GAZILLION times better and more than anything I could have ever wanted! He is so much better for me than that other guy and I am just so thankful that things wne the way it did. Whenever I see that other guy, I think, "gross, what was I thinking when I was dating him, he is not for me at all!" I see things completely differently and one day you will too, because there will come a time when you will meet someone so perfect for you, that you can't even begin to comprehend it at this time in your life! Just hang in there, enjoy life and all it has to offer and don't settle for anyone because you are too worth it!!
ReplyDeleteI love what Tamsyn wrote, it's true. You just have to kind of wait it out. Besides, you don't stay friends with ex's...not really. I mean, when they get married, or you get married, and you move on. Honestly kip, it sounds like you are the one having a hard time letting go and just moving on. Guys aren't the ones that determine your self-worth. EVER. By the way, I have a good quote for you, "A word to the wise ain't necessary. It's the stupid ones who need the advice." -Bill Cosby (no implication intended, I just thought it was funny!)
ReplyDeletePS - We've ALL been there. Every female out there.
ReplyDeleteGee thanks kiki. Yeah of course I have a hard time letting go. I don't really have any other friends. You have no idea how lonely it is. To realize that you drove off most of your friends. And the only one who you have left is the one that dumped you. It's rather depressing. I'm sure you noticed....
ReplyDelete