Epiphany

To really be happy, I need to focus on simply living how I should. my little rebelions are pointless in the first place. They dont accomplish anything and i ususally feel worse then before. how stupid. and what a waste of time. I could be having so much fun instead of wallowing in my little world of being stupid. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of making excuses to myself....and for the most part even I realize how tiresome and annoying it is. I want to be happy...this stupid self pity and crap is just that...crap. Nobody likes a sap or a self loathing person. Who wants to be around that? I don't even want to be around people like that and half the time i am that way! What the hecks wrong with me?! wow....i'm rather ridiculous.