Questions

As I've grown up, I've come to understand that sometimes we ask questions of people that are truly personal and we treat it as trivial. For example, we joke with friends and family about when they will have children. Now as simple and innocent as this question is, its an extremely loaded and personal inquiry. Asking someone, jokingly, when they will have kids can cause some issues. What if they've been trying to have children and have been unsuccessful? Or if they just found out they couldn't have any? Or that, because of medical issues, getting pregnant could be an extremely difficult task and it could cause them great distress just bringing it up. Or maybe, they just miscarried and hadn't told anyone. That we trivialize such an important and sacred thing, makes it seem like their struggle is not a big deal. Or we don't value their efforts. I feel like we treat peoples struggles, that are very difficult for them, as ridiculous or meaningless. Because we see that it's not too bad or it's not something that's hard for us to deal with. Or my favorite one "well it could be worse...", yes it very well could be worse, but that doesn't take away their struggle or their feelings about what they're going through. I think if we would take a moment, and feel some empathy towards other human beings, then we would have better relationships. I am also a victim of this kind of thinking, the "suck it up and move on" mentality. Now, in some circumstances, that mentality is good to have, things that truly are trivial are good to get over. But when someone has a broken heart, or an intense struggle, then we should show kindness, thoughtfulness, and understanding. Most of the time, all anyone wants, is someone to recognize their struggle. To know they hurt, and they aren't alone with that pain. When my little boy falls down, I usually say "You're okay. Just get up. You're fine." Now in some ways this is a good approach. Because it teaches him to work through a struggle. But at the same time, he's 2. And all he wants is his mommy to show some love, give him a hug, kiss his ouchy, and say "I know it hurts, but you'll be alright, I'm here." Sometimes, we need to extend that courtesy to those around us. Another weird comment or question that people ask a lot is about breastfeeding. Whether or not you do or don't somehow dictates how good or qualified a mother you are. That formula feeding is somehow less better than breastfeeding. And yes, breast milk is very good for your growing baby, but guess what, so is formula. Comments about breast feeding in pubic, are totally unnecessary. If women can walk around half naked and no one cares. Then what is the big deal about someone feeding their child in a public setting? Nothing. Nothing is wrong with it. I don't understand why someone feels the need to comment to a mother who is doing her best to supply nutrients for their child, who is exhausted, stressed, and already nervous about feeding them in public, about it. And to make them feel bad. It serves no real purpose other than showing that you're a hypocritical jerk. A simple kind word to a random person, can change their day. Maybe a smile to someone on the street. Telling someone they look beautiful, even when you can see that they don't feel that way about themselves. Everyone deserves to feel beautiful, to feel valued for more than their appearance. That their struggles will pass and that those around them can show understanding, rather than judgement. Too often we are quick to judge. Either about appearance, personality, experiences they've had, anything that makes a person different in a negative way to our own lives. I catch myself judging people according to some of these things. And for a good portion of them, i am wrong. Not always, sometimes I get a feeling about a person and its not wrong. But that isn't always the case. Anyway, my opinion on this discussion is done. What I really hope to have gotten across is that, not everyone is what you think they are and sometimes we ought to be more kind, tolerant, and understanding.

Stupid Teenagers

Well, lets see...not sure exactly what to write. Maybe I'm just rambling on here because its late and I'm bored. Water Polo is almost over. Thank goodness, cause I've had it up to here with all these teenage girls. I am not a drama person. I don't like it, I don't usually deal with drama or dramatic people, and I have had so much drama this season. It never fails. Almost every season, always at the end, we get these girls who cause all this drama crap. EVERY YEAR....if I could, I think I would only coach the Boys season. Boys are more dedicated, work harder, more aggressive with the sport, and overall, are so much easier to work with. They don't cause a bunch of drama. If they are mad about something, they punch the guy and then its over with. None of this back stabbing, bad mouthing, drama that the girls do. It's always about the sport with the guys, they always just want to get better. And I love that. THe girls are always so worried about what they look like or if they are going to look stupid because they don't know everything about the sport. Let me tell you, the boys couldn't care less if they look dumb. The guys just want to play. And the girls hold these grudges for decades! its so STUPID. The guys just want to beat the other team...which is what the girls should do. But they psych themselves out over the stupidest thing. And the girls get so distracted by boyfriends. Guys who have girlfriends, never skip practice to be with them. Sports are always the priority for the guys. It just astounds me that these girls would do that. I had a boyfriend in high school. He understood that I had team practice and would come support me at games and I understood he had his own life and responsibilities. It was never this needy, whiny, insecurity that these athletes/teenagers have now. I knew who I was, I knew what I wanted (to play polo or swim) and nothing, boy, injury, etc. would get in my way. I have always been an athlete. So I don't understand this generations lack of commitment to their sport. It just boggles my mind. I have never met a more disinterested generation. Its all about the social media (snapchat, facebook, instagram). How many likes and smileys they can get somehow adds up to their self worth. Maybe I am lucky that I've always been sure of who I am. At least sure of who I am as a human being. That, yes, others opinions do matter, but not everyone's opinion. Anyway, that's enough of my ranting. I hope that my future children will know who they are and be comfortable with that. I hope my little Sullivan will grow to be a confident young man who is comfortable with life and who he will become. I hope what someone might take from this isn't that I think all teenagers nowadays are stupid shallow idiots. I just hope that these kids will learn to be who they are without all this social media crap. Cause it doesn't matter how many likes a person gets, that doesn't show how much you are valued as a person. Actual relationships with people, who genuinely love and care for them is what matters. Loving acts of kindness, charity, and love, along with common courtesy for our fellow man, will show what kind of person you are. Dedicated to their sports, school, family, religion, etc., without just quitting in the middle because it gets too difficult. But actually finishing what they start with 100% and using what they learn to help with future life experiences and events.

Growing up

Growing up is so difficult. For adults and for children. It's almost as if, while Sullivan is growing up, I'm growing up a second time. When I was little I figured I would grow up and then stop. But as I have gotten older and different life experiences happen, I realize, no one ever truly grows up and stops. We all continue to grow up slowly, even after we think we are all done growing. 

I do suppose no one truly ever finishes growing up and has that complete knowledge of life. Maybe that's where wisdom comes in. I know some very wise people, but every now and then they don't act so "grown up". And I'm not talking about maturity. I've met some immature "adults" and some very mature "children". I think it's a mix of trying to grow and progress, and to come to a knowledge of truth. 

At least for myself, I feel that's what growing up means. Not just simply maturing but coming to truth and accepting things for how they are and learning from it.