OVER HAULIN'

You know, every now and then, I like to do something new. I'll chop off my hair, dye it, change my "look" with my clothes, change my interests, etc... You know its nice to do those things, adds a little spice to life. But lately I feel content with how things are. And I like it. I'm getting married in a few weeks and there are always things to get done. So I'm busy. I like it. I really do hate to just waste time, though I'm sure some people would raise their eyebrows at reading that. Marriage is a big adventure. Now I should probably be rushing around continuously doing this and that, which sometimes, I am. But I'm not nervous for this new adventure, even cutting my hair I'll get nervous, cause you never know how it will turn out. And I'm not saying I have this new life all figured out, but that I'm excited to start the chaos! I know being married isn't going to be easy or simply. But I know its where I'm supposed to be. And for one of the few times in my life, I know what I'm doing is right. I'm not worried at all about it. Now there are things that worry me sure, like how will bills be paid, how fast will I get a job, etc. But being married to Blake, I have no fears or worries. I know its right. And that, is comforting. In all the wedding planning chaos, I have a reassurance that it will all be okay.

YAY!!!

Yeah so I'm getting married on February 17th! So freakin excited! And I have the best people EVER helping with the reception. I love my sisters and my mom. They are awesome. I can't wait to see what they come up with! :)
Now to be a bit honest, getting married is exciting and slightly scary. Not the prospect of being with someone forever. That's not scary at all. What is scary to me is basically just starting something so new. I have no experiences like this one, so I don't know exactly what to expect. But in all reality, I can't wait to find out. :) There are so many things to think about and consider about the future. When i was little, people would ask me, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Back then, I would say something like superhero. As i got older, school and other things influenced my thoughts about the future. I would say vet., firefighter, nurse.... But after high school and now in college, my thoughts about the future changed. They've become more simple in a way. I want to be a good mother, be happy, and have a good life in the Gospel. The future, when you try to look at it all at once, seems huge. A little overwhelming. So I try to look at it in smaller sections. Instead of "what will i be doing in 6 months" its more like, "what will I be doing in the next 6 hours". i have a tendency to worry about things I don't have any control over. So i've been trying not to worry about future possibilities that may or may not happen, that i have no control over. So things to work on....
But yeah....way excited to be married and move to Utah.

Lately

Life lately has been very good. I haven't been fighting with my family,my mom has been kind enough to let me use her car, and blake is here :) He's my favorite. I'm glad he got to stay an extra week. Though I think his family is sad he's been gone so long. Halloween was fun. I helped Kristie's little girl Isabel with her hair and facepaint. It was lots of fun! :) Makes me feel like a good aunt.
-me and blake were dead people or injured ones (take your pick)
-kristie got to wear her fabulous dress she made!
-Isabel was a fairy with butterfly wings painted on her face
-Ethan was bumblebee from Transformers
-Liam was Woody from Toy Story
-Melinda was Peter Pan
-Dave was Cpt. Hook
-Bethany was Wendy
-Maddie was Tinkerbell
-Sam was John Darling
-Kimble was Michael Darling
Everyone looked so stinking awesome in their costumes!! I love Halloween! Its my favorite holiday :) Anyway, I don't really know what else to write....so that's about it....

Trying To Figure It All Out

Oh man....I have so many things that I'm worrying over its not even funny. My levels of anxiety are rising to the brink. My car is basically totalled, Blake is coming in early and now we're figuring out sleeping arrangements, he only has a one way ticket so if i don't have a vehicle to drive to Utah he'll be stuck here. (which i wouldn't mind but as i said my house is rather crowded), money is always low and i've been trying to save for this trip and then i had to pay for insurence twice this month. I'm just trying so hard to do things right. And i know this is what being an adult and having responsibilities is about and that getting married or whatever else will not make any of this go away or easier. I know everything will work out in the end. But i still will stress and worry over it all till its past. Having faith that the Lord will help me through is sometimes so difficult to have. I know he will help me but I have to make sure i do everything else i can and am supposed to do first. I know the Lord wont do everything for me and i know i need to do all i can to fix things or to get things done. But its having that patience and that faith that everything will be okay that is so hard to do.

Engine troubles

Hahaha went to the wheelocks to teach aabbee the fishtail braid. What happens instead? I help Dempsey and Matt fix the bronco! Bro. Wheelock comes out and takes my picture and starts laughing about how two boys are standing around and has the girl fixing the engine! To be perfectly honest.…I'm very proud of myself for that:) Finally after we sort out the engine trouble I go inside and teach aabbee the braid. All in all, a well spent afternoon!

Perspective

Well let's see.…nothing really significant going on in the life of Brenda. Just taking things a day at a time. Things of note: a few of my good friends have gotten married this summer. That's always exciting. My best friend graduated from school this year and has started her student teaching job in Arizona. My cousin rachael will be returning to Washington with her husband towards October/November, which I'm stoked for! I haven't seen her since last December. Elder burns goes home in approx. 5 weeks. That's also very exciting! I still have not acquired a job for the summer, other than working for my dear mother. But alas, not too much of a loss since I will be starting work again in September. Both jobs! My permanent part time job at Pierce College and also my job at the Puyallup fair! Which I am very excited for. I had a marvelous time last year and hope that this year will be even better! Which, I am sure, it will be. Life is so precarious sometimes. But I suppose that's how it goes. Honestly I hope that this year will be one of good and challenging experiences. This monotony of my current life is vastly boring at worst and dull at best. Not that I don't love spending time with my family. I do, in fact enjoy it immensely. But it's the in-between time when I have nothing productive to do that drives me insane. Even trying to draw to whittle away the empty hours has brought me little solace. Perhaps I shall attempt to find an "extreme" project to occupy my mind will help. Or perhaps I can learn some home making skills such as cooking or sowing! That's would both be productive and entertaining. I shall have to ask my mother and maybe my sisters if they will assist me in this endever. We shall just have to wait and see! Anyway, I'm done yacking for now.

Another Day in this Carnival of Souls

The faces of people i'll never see again. why are we overly concerned on how people view us? Strangers to be exact. Now I understand we want our family, friends, and even co-workers to have a good opinion if us. But why are we so overly concerned about how complete strangers think of us? Don't misunderstand me, I'm guilty of being concerned about such things. Like not wanting to make a fool of myself in public. but why should we care? I'll never see most of these people again. But we all make quick judgements about people. i've done this. And i don't really think it should be important! i have been trying very hard to not make assumptions of people. Mainly since, most of the time, its not my business or problem. honestly Why should i care that some random person is wearing this or that? it shouldn't bother me how people perceive me who don't know me. But every now and then i think about it and it does bother me. What a ridiculous thing to worry about! One, first impressions aren't always accurate, but then again, in my personal experiences, it has been. But not in every case. now you may be reading this and wondering where i'm going with this ranting. Well sorry to disappoint you, i don't know where i'm going with this. i guess what i'm getting at is, don't focus and worry about what others think of you, but make sure they see who you really are. i want to have a countenance that shows everyone around me exactly who i am and what i stand for in my life. and sometimes i don't think i always show that to people. i'll have to work on that....

Blake Burns

So he's pretty much the best thing to ever happen to me. He is my best friend. :) And i am extremely blessed to have him in my life. :D

long time

well it has been a long time since i've written anything here. but then again, nothing truly exciting is going on in my life. mainly just living at home (still) and trying to find a job. I need to start work ASAP!!!! i'm serious. This lazing about at home with nothing to do is driving me crazy. i can't stand it. My two friends that actually live here have jobs. So i have NO ONE to talk to. Well that isn't true, i have my sisters. But that's different they both have lives and families of their own to deal with. So I try not to bother them as much as possible. Its a little different for Kristie, since she lives in the same as me. But I am bored all the time. i NEED a job. Just to have something to do. and well, to have money to go do things. which the more i think about it is pointless to go do anything since everyone is BUSY! i would be hanging out by myself. What fun is that? that's dumb and boring. Who wants to hang out by themselves ALL the time? I mean every now and then sure, you want to be alone but seriously? no one really enjoys it. oh well....