I find myself awake all the time. I seriously don't think I actually sleep. I'm not sure if the sleep apnea has gotten worse. Or if I simply cant sleep for another reason. I mean I do have nightmares a lot of the time. Especially of late, with this heat. When its so hot that I wake up for most of the night and then when I actually do sleep I end up having nightmares kind of sucks hard core. But when I need to sleep I'll listen to classical music. It works the best for me.
"All around me are familiar faces...Worn out places, worn out faces. Bright and early for the daily races, Going nowhere, going nowhere...Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow...No tomorrow, no tomorrow....And I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad...The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had...."
Some days I don't remember what I did or if I even did anything at all. I find it hard to remember to eat. Something that ironically I shouldn't have to focus on but I do now. I have gone a couple of days without actual food and just drank water. Which isn't good at all. But I have to remind myself to eat. I find it weird that I should have to do that. I also find it interesting that when I drive and I'm tired I can never remember how I got from point A to point B....scary thought.
Allergies suck.
Having no trust in anyone makes life very lonely.
So when a friend betrays your trust...are you to simply forgive them? Or do you give them their righteous punishment...why must I always take in everything bad that happens. Why for once can't I find someone to confide in who wont throw my friendship out the window.
Life is a storm, you will bask in the sunlight one moment, be shattered on the rocks the next. What makes you a person is what you do when that storm comes. You must look into that storm and shout, "Do your worst, for I will do mine!"
Life style choices should be made for yourself, not what others impose on you or what others tell you is right. If you have any common sense, you will understand what things are important and why. You'll use that rational and make right choices. It really isn't that hard to make a good choice. When you really think about it choices where you have to choice between right and wrong aren't that at all. Its choosing between what is right and what is easy. Making the right choice isn't always the easiest but in the long run the most worthwhile.
Qualifications and competence are not the same thing.
I don't know why anyone would read these. They are random and pointless. Just thoughts that stray into my noggin when I'm typing. So when that happens I just write them down or save them for later. I find it interesting and slightly sad that I am so closed that my friends and family have to read my blog to actually get to know me. What a shame. Its not their fault that its this way. Its mine. And for the life of me I cant figure out why I am this way. Kevin says its a defense mechanism for me, so that I wont allow myself to either be hurt or lose control of my emotions. And for the most part I agree with that observation. Mainly because its true. I hate looking vulnerable, which to me would be letting my emotions show. And being hurt is never fun. I think most people have barriers up in that area of their life. Some people have gotten the impression, recently, that I'm a "cold fish". And I cant really blame them for feeling that way. I look at a situation with as much rational as I can. And that tends to offend people that I wont try to be more empathetic. Which women are mostly recognized for are their empathetic natures. Which is a pro and a con all in itself.
Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.
And now that its almost 4 in the morning, I think that I am finished. And no Kristie. I wont stop writing simply because you read them and comment.
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